The bolded part is not a complete sentence. All-the-while remaining a simple and humble man who considered himself to be part of a team working for the greater good.
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Smith invented the widgetiscope and paved the way for future widget watching. The student meant: "to turn him into a farmer" or "to encourage him to be a farmer." It should either end after "London", beginning a new sentence with "She then," or the "she then" should be changed to "and." To make someone a farmer is to create a farmer for them. Īpostrophes indicate possessiveness or contractions, not plurality. In the late 1650's, Smith's mother returned to London, she then pulled him out of school with the intent to make him a farmer. The sentence structure is grammatically sound and flows well. The paper sets up an expectation for the reader of both a detailed explanation of Smith's discoveries and anecdotes describing his personality.
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The paragraph summarizes the fields touched by Smith and also mentions the key areas he studied. As such, the choice to begin with his date of birth is a good one. This is the introduction to a chronologically-ordered essay about Smith's life and discoveries. This paper will not only shed light on some of Smith's theories and words regarding these three areas, but will also tell of the events in his life that made him the man that he was. Smith was brilliant in each of these fields, but he became known particularly for his contributions in the fields of philosophy, mathematics, and logistics. Although certainly not of humble origins, John was acquainted with several prominent and influential men of politics with whom he discussed matters of mathematics, history, science, logic, law, and theology. On March 4, 1849, John Smith was born to Anna Bradcock Smith and James Smith. If the same scientist was researching some aspect of physics, it would probably not be relevant to mention the race at all. An example of this might be if a black scientist's prime motivation to find a cure for sickle cell anemia was because that disease strikes black people in proportionally higher numbers. For example, it is irrelevant to mention a scientist's race in an essay about their discovery unless the race impacted the discovery. Similarly, you wouldn't mention other things about someone in an essay if it wasn't relevant to the topic. Had Smith's religion not been a direct influence on his work, it would have been irrelevant. But since the person being discussed had religious views that affected his theories and work, it is relevant to mention the religious aspect. Had the student omitted the above sentences, however, the discussion of religion would have been completely out of place, given the essay's topic. The essay then goes on to discuss these monads in a Christian context. He believed that God controls the harmony of life through these monads. His notion of monads included contextual references to God. Errors or bad portions are usually bolded to help you identify them. I have tried to categorize the errors as best as I could. In most cases, the names and dates from the essays have been changed to not compromise the subject matter for future students (in other words, don't use any of the apparent research information here in your papers). Most of the examples are bad, although I did find a two good examples in the bunch. The following are excerpts from nine first-year student essays. Learning to write often works best by example. Part 8 - Examples of Good and Bad Writing.